Okay, so, I've mentioned fire red hair and wigs, and I've been in pursuit of them for awhile now. I have yet to color my hair bright red for various reasons, but a few weeks ago, I did manage to purchase a wig for my head. Here is the story:
I have a friend whose hair is growing really thin, and in fact has bald places on her head, which make it really difficult to settle on a doable, cute style. (by the way, she has never cut her hair, and has bald spots from putting it up in a bun for so many years). It doesn't seem like she would be able to surgically have hair implants without spending a lot of money, but baldness is not a comfortable option either. So, I want to suggest to her that she starts wearing a wig. You know, a fairly realistic looking one.....there are lots of realistic looking wigs on the web, I have proof, because I might use some of them to describe how I want to get my hair cut.
Anyway, back to the story. I wanted to see firsthand what it was I would be asking her to do. Are they comfortable, are they itchy, what kind of care do they need, does it feel weird trying to make people believe it's your real hair, while you know it's not?
So, to find out firsthand, I purchased one myself. At the same time, I also wanted to do something that stretched me to an uncomfortable point, where I could also identify with others who lived an uncomfortable, misunderstood life. What better way then to purchase a wig as a white girl at a black girl's wig shop. :) I also want to eventually where a variety of wigs in the same way I wear accessories, you know, change up the scenery a bit. In order to take the stigma out of that, I just have to start doing it, right?
I purchased a wig with the help of some friends, and on the spur of the moment, decided to go shopping with it on my head. Looking back, that was a very poor decision. My hair wasn't tucked properly to remain hidden under the wig, and I think the color was too dark for my skin, and the bangs of the wig were to heavy. It was a split decision to wear it out of the shop, and it was a poor decision. But not all was lost, as I experienced exactly what I was expecting to. I was very uncomfortable, felt very self-conscious, while at the same time acutely connecting with those in our world who also feel conspicuous, out of place, and just want to belong, no matter how different they are.
What made this experiment even more uncomfortable was this: While shopping, I ran into several people I know who knew that this was not my hairstyle. I kept waiting for one of them to ask me if I was wearing a wig, but not one of them did. They just had this funny little look in their eyes, as I'm sure I did in mine. I was starting to loose confidence at this point too, and quite honestly was wishing I didn't have this thing on my head. I'm sure they all wondered why on earth I was wearing a wig, and I would have loved for them to ask me, so I could share a little of my story, but not one person did. I learned something from this as well.
This post wasn't supposed to get this long, so I'll summarize. Here's what I set out to learn or to do:
1. - be able to experience first hand the physical technicalities of wearing a wig first hand. (I learned what will work, and what will not work. I can honestly answer people's questions about wigs).
2. - I wanted to experience what it would feel like emotionally to go out in public around people I know who would make conclusions or assumptions about the way I looked. (It was very uncomfortable).
3. - I wanted to get out of my comfort zone in some way, so that maybe I can relate to others in not-so-comfortable (to me) situations. (definitely was out of my comfort zone). :)
4. - I just wanted them to ask me about my situation. Not out of judgment, but out of curiosity, or the attempt to understand. (Even though I didn't get asked, I learned that maybe others around me who might feel different from the status quo, might just want to have honest conversation and interaction from people trying to get to know them better).
(I wanted to upload pics here, but for the sake of time, it's not going to happen today. They might get posted on facebook one day. The pic I had on my profile of the curly hair was one I tried on, and now wish I had bought. Look for a short, dark cut eventually). :)
