Piano Man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxEPV4kolz0

So, I just listened to this song in my van, I mean, REALLY LISTENED, and it almost had me balling. Weird, huh? It made such an impact on me, that I youtubed it and linked it and it has now become my first entry into bloggers' world.

I have felt so lonely lately. Not because I don't have awesome family and friends, because I certainly do, but I just feel like no one knows who I really am, or what I experience on the inside. This is definitely not their fault, as they are all loving and nice, but it feels like I see the world so differently than most of them and they assume we see it the same. THAT is why it feels lonely. I don't feel like I'm truly living without voicing my inner heartbeat. And I'm tired of not truly living.

This blog is an attempt to open myself up to the discussion and conversation I am longing to have, to let people in, to have someone to talk to. I am by no means a writer, as you will see, there will be lots of run-on sentences, rants and rabbit trails, and rambling. I want to type it as it floods my mind, not re-type it to sound better. This means that it will come out raw, abrasive, overly passionate, and maybe even immature at times. Consider yourself warned.

And what is it that I want to discuss and converse about so badly? I tried to make a list, but that just wasn't working. As stuff comes up, I will post about it, which will lead to other issues, which will make me think of something else, which will put you on my rabbit trail with me, hopefully following me around till I get to where I was going.

You still may be wondering what on earth this song has to do with this post. When I first listened to it without any visual pictures, I felt all the loneliness, disappointment, sadness in these people's stories. But they found this commonality in each other and were an encouragement to each other, just by being together. I want to come together in a community of people where we can voice all the stuff that bothers us, be it right or wrong, and in this way, truly be ourselves and know each other for who we are. Does that make sense?

One more thing. I want Jesus to be a Piano Man to me. To play me songs that connect, that mean something to me. That only he knows I can connect with. I want him to stick around in my world, my own, hidden, personal world. A world that feels lonely and misunderstood. I don't want him to seem only to be available in places where I can't be real.

So, how's that for an opener? Let's talk. I would love to have conversation with you.